 Have you ever noticed how your own mind can turn against you just when you’re ready to make a change, especially a big change like a career pivot? You start to see all the ways things could go wrong, or you convince yourself that success has to look a certain way, even when that version of success is burning you out.
That’s the work of the sneaky voices that create frustration, fear, and keep us from moving toward those big hairy audacious goals. The self sabotage that is behind all of our stress, anxiety, and burnout. YES! We do this to ourselves! What if the very habits that made you successful are the same ones keeping you stuck? Two of my clients discovered this truth the hard way, and what happened next changed everything. Chris came to me after several years as a struggling entrepreneur. She had built a recognizable brand and loyal clients, but behind the scenes, the pressure of meeting expenses and managing contract staff had taken a toll. When she first sat down with me, she sighed, “I think I just need to get a job.” Her whole posture looked defeated. But as we began the process of career visioning, it became clear that returning to an employee role would pull her even further away from her passions and purpose. Chris was completely depleted, financially, physically, emotionally. Yet when she talked about her international retreats, speaking gigs, and community workshops, her whole energy changed. “Maria, I am so energized when I get to mentor women and entrepreneurs,” she told me. We started by making small but powerful shifts: streamlining her business model, letting go of unnecessary overhead, and creating breathing room in her finances. “With each change we make, I feel lighter,” she said. As she continued to strengthen her mental fitness, Chris learned to pause the controller in her head, that voice insisting everything had to be managed, fixed, and perfect. “I learned that there’s never a good time to stop and grow, life doesn’t stop. But when you do, that’s when your eyes begin to open and you start seeing opportunities.” Chris began experimenting, saying yes to small income streams that fit her new season of life. She house-sat in her favorite vacation destinations, drove for Uber, and helped a friend in her boutique business, all while building back her confidence and energy. And then, almost magically, the right job appeared, one that allowed her to serve entrepreneurs, lead community programs, and still keep her side gigs. “Maria, I’ve never been so happy,” she told me. “I’m living my best life.” Cathy’s journey began in a familiar place of burnout. After a decade in high-pressure banking, she left to start her dream business. Her clients loved her, but her savings dwindled, and soon she was working at a daycare for $20 an hour just to stay afloat. She told me, “I don’t know what I thought would happen when I started my business, I thought my financial runway would be enough.” When we started working together, our focus was to stabilize her income. But it became clear that the daycare job, though safe, was draining her energy and holding her back from building her dream. I asked her to revisit her banking career, not to return to it, but to remember what parts she actually loved. Her eyes lit up as she said, “I loved working with small business owners to help them get their loans approved.” That was the spark. We realized she didn’t need to abandon her financial expertise, just the toxic environment that came with it. She quickly earned a few certifications and launched a financial consulting offer tailored to small business owners. Within a month, she had her first clients. Now, Cathy runs two thriving businesses: one using her education and core skills and the other following her passions, perfectly blending her analytical and intuitive strengths. Both Chris and Cathy realized something powerful, their biggest obstacles weren’t the economy, or lack of opportunity, or even their past choices. Their biggest obstacles were internal. Your saboteurs, the inner critics that push you into fight-or-flight, can masquerade as strengths. The Hyper-Achiever insists, “You need me, I’m the reason you’re successful!” But that same drive can lead to: Conditional self-worth tied to achievement Overwork and burnout Neglect of relationships and self-care Learning to recognize and quiet these saboteurs changes everything. Here’s what my clients say after working on their mental fitness: “I’m learning how to break that constant cycle of fight or flight.” “On the days I skip the exercises, I revert to stress and exhaustion. When I do them, I can make calm decisions.” “This program completely changed how I see and react to challenges.” “I’ve learned that planning to be profitable has to go hand in hand with self-care and mental health.” When you strengthen your mind, you stop self-sabotaging your success. You stop chasing external validation. You start aligning your energy with what truly matters. Seeing Your Own Saboteurs So, are you starting to see your saboteurs everywhere? Understanding the roots of these behaviors, and the lies they tell, is the key to reducing their grip on your career and your life. Self-sabotage can isolate you, drain your energy, and keep you stuck in cycles of overwork and doubt. But when you start strengthening your mental fitness, everything shifts. You make better decisions. You create from calm, not chaos. And you open your eyes to a career that truly feels like you. Ready to quiet your saboteurs and build your mental fitness? DM me or schedule a call. I’ll help you build the clarity, confidence, and calm to design a career that fits who you are and the life you want to live. https://calendly.com/mariadastur/30-minute-exploration-session #CareerPivot #MindsetMatters #SelfSabotage #CareerChange #MentalFitness #MidlifeCareer #EQ #ProfessionalDevelopment
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 This is not how you pictured it. Years into a career pivot and you’re still not there. Sure you have picked up some income here and there, but this is NOT what your dream career looks like. 150 carefully targeted job applications, not mass blasts, but roles you could see yourself thriving in. 10 multi-stage interview processes. All making it past the initial screen, because targeted applications work, but every single one petering out before the offer. Some dragged on for 10+ weeks, panel interviews, work samples, in-person presentations. Some checked your references. None chose you.
Each application: 30 minutes minimum, even with AI Each networking conversation: prep, follow-up, emotional energy. Each event: gas, time, and hope. Social media strategy: endless scrolling, posting, connecting, all to climb past 500 connections. Headshots. Résumé writers. Premium subscriptions. Calling in favors that went nowhere. It’s exhausting. It’s infuriating. And it feels like so much wasted time. I want acknowledge how heavy this process can feel. The endless hours poured into something with no guarantee. The rollercoaster of getting so close, again and again, only to hear, “We went in a different direction.” Now zoom out for moment. The perspective is different. Misalignment is real. With distance, you can often see that many of those roles weren’t quite right. They weren’t built for someone like you to thrive, they were built for someone who wanted the old path, not the new one you’re trying to create. You probably dodged a few bullets. Have you ever looked up who they did hire? Sometimes, they’re a perfect fit for a job that would have suffocated you. Sometimes, the company culture turns out to be toxic. Sometimes, the dream role wasn’t one at all. You’ve been sharpening your clarity. Every application forced you to articulate who you are and what you want. Every interview helped you practice telling your story. Every “no” nudged you closer to the “yes” that actually fits. You’ve been building resilience and range. The sheer persistence it takes to keep going to refine, learn, connect, and try again is itself a muscle. And that muscle will serve you well, no matter where you land. It’s easy to call all of this wasted time because the result, the job, the offer, the next chapter, hasn’t materialized yet. But what if the time hasn’t been wasted at all? What if it’s been the tuition you pay for transformation? Every conversation expanded your network. Every rejection clarified your direction. Every “almost” showed you what not to settle for. A career pivot is not a straight path. It's a series of discoveries, wins, setbacks, and learning opportunities. And if yours is taking longer than you expected, that doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re still in motion. If you feel like you’ve wasted time, try looking again. Because often, that time is exactly what’s preparing you for the chapter that will fit the “you” of today. And when that chapter arrives, you might look back at all those near-misses and realize… you didn’t lose anything at all. You dodged bullets. You refined your vision. And you built the version of you that’s finally ready for what’s next. You’ve already done the hard part, now let’s make it count. Book a connection call and let’s explore how to turn your effort into opportunity and build the career (and life) that truly fits. https://calendly.com/mariadastur/30-minute-exploration-session |
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